Couples Counselling

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

From a CBT perspective, couples often come to this work when they find themselves stuck in repeating patterns — the same arguments, the same misunderstandings, or a growing sense of distance. Together, we slow things down and make sense of what’s happening underneath the surface. We look at how each partner’s past experiences, core beliefs, and protective patterns shape the way they think, feel, and respond to each other — especially in moments of conflict.

Rather than blaming or taking sides, the focus is on understanding the cycle you’re both caught in. We explore the automatic thoughts, emotional reactions, and behaviours that escalate disconnection, as well as the unspoken needs sitting underneath them. At a pace that feels safe for both of you, we begin to gently shift these patterns — helping you respond to each other with more awareness, flexibility, and care. Over time, this creates space for clearer communication, reduced reactivity, and a stronger, more secure connection.

What is CBT

In CBT, my role is that of an expert, a guide and a mentor who assists you to become aware of faulty thought patterns, negative interpretations, and the behavioural patterns that are reinforcing your distorted thinking. I will assist you in learning how to identify distorted cognitions and then help you to decide on suitable changes to resolve the problem. However, this is a collaborative process – throughout CBT I will be respectful of your wishes and work on the issues that you identify as important to you. 

CBT is a very popular style of therapy which offers a straightforward approach to treatment that has both face and empirical validity, as well as flexible and broad treatment modalities that encompass many useful interventions (Simmons & Griffiths, 2014). 

Our use of CBT will emphasise goal setting, accountability, and results in a respectful and collaborative fashion that will require you to take responsibility for yourself. Although improved behaviours and thinking are our targets, treatment also seeks to improve emotional health and can be applied to a wide range of situations and problems.

How can Couples Therapy Help Me?

Couples counselling creates space not only for the difficult moments, but also for the ones that remind you why you chose each other in the first place. Many couples arrive feeling stuck in the same cycles — arguments that go nowhere, distance that grows quietly, or a sense of walking on eggshells. But alongside this, there are often still moments of care, humour, or connection that have just become harder to reach.

In our work together, we gently slow things down and explore both. We look at the patterns that pull you apart — the reactions, assumptions, and protective responses that escalate conflict — while also making room for the parts of your relationship that still feel warm, safe, or meaningful. This isn’t about ignoring what’s hard, but about understanding it more deeply, without losing sight of what still exists between you.

At times, this process can feel confronting. You may begin to recognise your own role in the cycle, or see how old patterns are shaping the way you respond to each other now. But alongside that, there are also moments of softening — where you hear each other differently, feel understood, or reconnect in ways that have been missing.

Over time, couples counselling helps you move out of automatic reactions and into more conscious, intentional ways of relating. The goal isn’t a perfect relationship, but one where you can navigate both the hard and the good moments with more awareness, care, and a stronger sense of being on the same side.

 Book An Appointment

Choosing the right counsellor is an important process and I understand that it is not always easy to begin looking for help and support. You are welcome to book a free 15 minute telephone consultation to help give you the chance to see if you feel comfortable with me and the way that I work, and to discuss how counselling may benefit you.

You can ask any questions you have and together we can decide whether mine is the best counselling and therapy service for you. There is no obligation or commitment needed to attend any further sessions.

FAQs